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enemytosleep) wrote in
writethisfanfic2012-03-20 11:14 am
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WIP Challenge: Day 20, Tuesday
Another day has come and gone, so now it's time to check in. \o/

How many new words did you write today? Did you reach your goal? Were you editing instead? Researching? Or was today a day of rest?
...and today's discussion topic:
Purple prose: many fandom writers have gone there before, either by rookie mistake or by simply not knowing better. Have you ever written anything purple? Please feel free to share any advice you might have on avoiding this for any newbies out there (and feel free to share your own purple prose too, if you want!).

How many new words did you write today? Did you reach your goal? Were you editing instead? Researching? Or was today a day of rest?
...and today's discussion topic:
Purple prose: many fandom writers have gone there before, either by rookie mistake or by simply not knowing better. Have you ever written anything purple? Please feel free to share any advice you might have on avoiding this for any newbies out there (and feel free to share your own purple prose too, if you want!).
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As if he could read Edward's thoughts, the priest spoke again. "St. Paul says that 'the demands of the law are written on the hearts of men.' We are all born with the ability to decipher virtuousness from immorality. Even if we choose not to have faith, we are still held accountable for our actions. But God does reward good men. He understands that at times we will doubt, that at times we will stray. It is your acknowledgment of those sins and your remorse that are the key to true happiness."
"But we've acknowledged what we've done wrong! Why must we keep paying for it?"
"We do not always know the plan God has for us. As the Lord's Son tells us, 'It is a paradox and a challenge. The challenge forces us to step back and ask ourselves: What am I made of? What does my life stand for, and am I going to retaliate, or act selflessly.' Do not consider the cost if you are to be truly happy, for it is the sacrifice itself that makes us better men."
"In exchange for my brother's life I was sent here. If you want to call it remorse for my sins so be it." Ed clenched his fists and gritted his teeth. He didn't believe for a second that his latest exchange was sinful in any way. He knew the consequences and made the sacrifice of his own accord. Maybe it was a punishment, maybe it wasn't. He didn't care. He just wanted to find a way back to them. "I won't give up. I will find a way back somehow...I just hope that he's there when I arrive...and that he doesn't forget me."
"I cannot say whether or not you will be remembered upon your return, but I can tell you that another person's memories are not yours to control. We are living on the brink of war, with the hope of great social change. The things we do and see in these times may be better off forgotten. But do not let go of your own memories, and should you reach your destination someday, those will serve as a catalyst to recall anew those times passed. In the meantime, I advise you to scrutinize your morality, and determine whether your actions follow your heart's conscience, or whether they are fueled by selfish desires."
Ed's shoulders slumped as he exhaled deeply, looking defeated. Maybe he was being selfish. It was Equivalent Exchange after all: his body and soul for those of his brother. Who was he to question this existence, or to try and reclaim that which he had given up?
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How to avoid purple prose... Use simple words 'wordy' rather than 'verbose' for example. Don't string three million adjectives together at once. Show something, rather than tell us about it. Terry wiped damp palms on his trousers as he looked at the officer sounds better than the officer made Terry nervous.
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Ummm.... not sure. I would need an outside eye to look over my old fics and go, "You did that here, here and here."
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After you've written it, distance yourself and read it. If every element of your sentence has an adjective, go back and choose better nouns.
That's the pithy version. In reality it's a layered process, and includes things like:
* Likewise, if every verb is accompanied by an adverb, go back and choose better verbs, and possibly also better nouns.)
* Consider metaphors.
* If you can't eliminate, consolidate: choose the one adjective you think the sentence can't live without, leave it, and then remove the rest. Come back in a few days and see if you still can't bear to remove it.
* Can the characters say something to convey the same idea, allowing you to remove it from the text?
Et cetera. Obligatory obvious disclaimer: personal writing advice is personal. I developed it to match my own acknowledged weaknesses, which are DescribeEverything!Syndrome and CannotWriteDialogue!Disease. People whose prose shades purple in other ways will need different advice. (Maybe we could trade weaknesses for a week?)
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I finished two stories today and am currently one my third one, but I got distracted and now have seriously lost track of the story. It's gone from an intorspective piece to a story about a man thinking his chair causes him impotence. (my mind is a scary place)
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As to purple prose, I really don't do it. My weakness is that I have a tendency to not give enough description. My old beta would mark portions of my story or leave notes to describe stuff (houses, environment, chairs, clothing)
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I probably have in the past and maybe (occasionally) still do it but I'd have to have someone else read through all my fics to find it.
Oh loving the wee graphics btw :)
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As for today, just got back home but before I left for work I may or may not started an outline for a possible story for
I remember I would use purple prose quite a lot, but then after getting advice on how to say more with less words I ended up with less description, only to get criticized for not getting any description at all. XD I'm still trying to find middle ground even after writing for several years already.
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Like the above poster, I think I often go in the opposite of not enough description. If I did purple prose, I need an outside eye to point it out.
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I think I tend towards purple, but I'm okay with it. I love lush, descriptive language, and if it gets a little violet sometimes, I'm good with it. :)
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