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writethisfanficWell, we're halfway through the month--how is your challenge fic coming along??
Are you...
~ making awesome progress?
~ making good progress?
~ making so-so progress?
~ making minimal progress?
~ making no progress what-so-ever?
What have you done/what are you planning to do today, fic wise?
~ Write
~ Edit/revise
~ Beta read/critique
~ Feed the muse
~ Nothing today, unfortunately.
Discussion topic:
I've been doing a lot of beta reading/critiquing lately and one thing I mark a lot, especially for newbie writers, is descriptions of things the POV character CANNOT see, either because he or she isn't looking at themselves or because the author tells us that the character didn't notice something. (If they didn't notice it, how can it be mentioned in their POV?)
For example:
John's jaw clenched and redness suffused the hard planes of his face. His eyes turned to steel--just as hard, just as gray. “Get out of here and don't ever come back,” he said, his tone as cold and sharp as a double-edged sword.
This better be from someone else's point of view. Because John can't see his eyes turn hard and gray like steel, he can't see the redness of his face, and he's probably not hearing the cold sharpness of his voice.
If he's that mad, he's experiencing other things. And probably thinking a few choice things, as well:
John's lunch turned to stone in his gut. His stomach churned, and he swallowed back the bile. His pulse pounding in his ears blocked the sound of her high-pitched voice, probably pleading for a second chance.
Like hell! If he ever saw that cheatin' two-bit floozy again, he'd wring her scrawny neck.
And just as John couldn't see his own eyes turn cold and hear his voice go sharp, no one but John can feel his lunch turn to stone or hear his pulse pounding in his ears.
As for the author mentioning something the POV character didn't see, that's sometimes called author intrusion. If it's important for the reader to know, then maybe the scene needs to written from another's POV. If the POV character is the only character in the scene, then maybe re-write it so that the character sees it, but in passing or he or she dismisses it as unimportant or makes a mental note that it's odd, but then promptly forgets about it.
Do you come across issues like these? Are you guilty of doing these things yourself?
Are you...
~ making awesome progress?
~ making good progress?
~ making so-so progress?
~ making minimal progress?
~ making no progress what-so-ever?
What have you done/what are you planning to do today, fic wise?
~ Write
~ Edit/revise
~ Beta read/critique
~ Feed the muse
~ Nothing today, unfortunately.
Discussion topic:
I've been doing a lot of beta reading/critiquing lately and one thing I mark a lot, especially for newbie writers, is descriptions of things the POV character CANNOT see, either because he or she isn't looking at themselves or because the author tells us that the character didn't notice something. (If they didn't notice it, how can it be mentioned in their POV?)
For example:
John's jaw clenched and redness suffused the hard planes of his face. His eyes turned to steel--just as hard, just as gray. “Get out of here and don't ever come back,” he said, his tone as cold and sharp as a double-edged sword.
This better be from someone else's point of view. Because John can't see his eyes turn hard and gray like steel, he can't see the redness of his face, and he's probably not hearing the cold sharpness of his voice.
If he's that mad, he's experiencing other things. And probably thinking a few choice things, as well:
John's lunch turned to stone in his gut. His stomach churned, and he swallowed back the bile. His pulse pounding in his ears blocked the sound of her high-pitched voice, probably pleading for a second chance.
Like hell! If he ever saw that cheatin' two-bit floozy again, he'd wring her scrawny neck.
And just as John couldn't see his own eyes turn cold and hear his voice go sharp, no one but John can feel his lunch turn to stone or hear his pulse pounding in his ears.
As for the author mentioning something the POV character didn't see, that's sometimes called author intrusion. If it's important for the reader to know, then maybe the scene needs to written from another's POV. If the POV character is the only character in the scene, then maybe re-write it so that the character sees it, but in passing or he or she dismisses it as unimportant or makes a mental note that it's odd, but then promptly forgets about it.
Do you come across issues like these? Are you guilty of doing these things yourself?
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