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writethisfanficWell, we're halfway through the month--how is your challenge fic coming along??
Are you...
~ making awesome progress?
~ making good progress?
~ making so-so progress?
~ making minimal progress?
~ making no progress what-so-ever?
What have you done/what are you planning to do today, fic wise?
~ Write
~ Edit/revise
~ Beta read/critique
~ Feed the muse
~ Nothing today, unfortunately.
Discussion topic:
I've been doing a lot of beta reading/critiquing lately and one thing I mark a lot, especially for newbie writers, is descriptions of things the POV character CANNOT see, either because he or she isn't looking at themselves or because the author tells us that the character didn't notice something. (If they didn't notice it, how can it be mentioned in their POV?)
For example:
John's jaw clenched and redness suffused the hard planes of his face. His eyes turned to steel--just as hard, just as gray. “Get out of here and don't ever come back,” he said, his tone as cold and sharp as a double-edged sword.
This better be from someone else's point of view. Because John can't see his eyes turn hard and gray like steel, he can't see the redness of his face, and he's probably not hearing the cold sharpness of his voice.
If he's that mad, he's experiencing other things. And probably thinking a few choice things, as well:
John's lunch turned to stone in his gut. His stomach churned, and he swallowed back the bile. His pulse pounding in his ears blocked the sound of her high-pitched voice, probably pleading for a second chance.
Like hell! If he ever saw that cheatin' two-bit floozy again, he'd wring her scrawny neck.
And just as John couldn't see his own eyes turn cold and hear his voice go sharp, no one but John can feel his lunch turn to stone or hear his pulse pounding in his ears.
As for the author mentioning something the POV character didn't see, that's sometimes called author intrusion. If it's important for the reader to know, then maybe the scene needs to written from another's POV. If the POV character is the only character in the scene, then maybe re-write it so that the character sees it, but in passing or he or she dismisses it as unimportant or makes a mental note that it's odd, but then promptly forgets about it.
Do you come across issues like these? Are you guilty of doing these things yourself?
Are you...
~ making awesome progress?
~ making good progress?
~ making so-so progress?
~ making minimal progress?
~ making no progress what-so-ever?
What have you done/what are you planning to do today, fic wise?
~ Write
~ Edit/revise
~ Beta read/critique
~ Feed the muse
~ Nothing today, unfortunately.
Discussion topic:
I've been doing a lot of beta reading/critiquing lately and one thing I mark a lot, especially for newbie writers, is descriptions of things the POV character CANNOT see, either because he or she isn't looking at themselves or because the author tells us that the character didn't notice something. (If they didn't notice it, how can it be mentioned in their POV?)
For example:
John's jaw clenched and redness suffused the hard planes of his face. His eyes turned to steel--just as hard, just as gray. “Get out of here and don't ever come back,” he said, his tone as cold and sharp as a double-edged sword.
This better be from someone else's point of view. Because John can't see his eyes turn hard and gray like steel, he can't see the redness of his face, and he's probably not hearing the cold sharpness of his voice.
If he's that mad, he's experiencing other things. And probably thinking a few choice things, as well:
John's lunch turned to stone in his gut. His stomach churned, and he swallowed back the bile. His pulse pounding in his ears blocked the sound of her high-pitched voice, probably pleading for a second chance.
Like hell! If he ever saw that cheatin' two-bit floozy again, he'd wring her scrawny neck.
And just as John couldn't see his own eyes turn cold and hear his voice go sharp, no one but John can feel his lunch turn to stone or hear his pulse pounding in his ears.
As for the author mentioning something the POV character didn't see, that's sometimes called author intrusion. If it's important for the reader to know, then maybe the scene needs to written from another's POV. If the POV character is the only character in the scene, then maybe re-write it so that the character sees it, but in passing or he or she dismisses it as unimportant or makes a mental note that it's odd, but then promptly forgets about it.
Do you come across issues like these? Are you guilty of doing these things yourself?
Tags:
no subject
Date: Tuesday, November 15th, 2011 20:15 (UTC)As for the discussion topic, once upon a time I did used to mention things the POV character couldn't or shouldn't notice. But I have since learned not to do so.
no subject
Date: Tuesday, November 15th, 2011 21:17 (UTC)Those examples of yours make me cringe. When you point it out its obvious. I wonder whetehr I gloss over this kind of stuff when I'm reading... or even when I'm writing.
Hikago canon has a character who is invisible to all other characters except one. He is nearly always in fic, or
no subject
Date: Tuesday, November 15th, 2011 21:23 (UTC)no subject
Date: Tuesday, November 15th, 2011 21:42 (UTC)It's easy to do. Some things can be really subtle. Especially something like your face going red with embarrassment--you can feel the heat and you know your face probably *is* red, but to me it's really distracting for a character to put it that way.
And it's a small distinction for the character to say his/her face heated with embarrassment and that he/she knew it was red vs. just flat out saying it's red. Some people don't care and that's cool, but for me, I catch those. :)
no subject
Date: Tuesday, November 15th, 2011 21:44 (UTC)I have yet to do my writing for today, but I can fit that in between now and going to sleep.
Those kind of POV changes are a sure way of throw me out of a fic. This is one of the few things that really bug me. (I very much hope I'm not guilty of it myself because that would be awkward.)
no subject
Date: Tuesday, November 15th, 2011 23:16 (UTC)Then again, I believe that was my second or third fanfic I'd ever written, so... I hope I'm not guilty of it anymore. *g*
no subject
Date: Tuesday, November 15th, 2011 22:13 (UTC)I do notice POV changes fairly often, & yes, they irk me. I know some people do write in an omniscient style, but I've seen cases where people claimed that but it read more to me like just sloppy writing, because the POV-switching was sporadic only (so you only got anyone else's thoughts maybe once or twice, whereas if you were truly doing omniscient you'd probably have a lot more of everyone's POV!). I catch myself slipping once in a while, but I think I've gotten better about avoiding that.
no subject
Date: Tuesday, November 15th, 2011 22:49 (UTC)Today I've written and also done a little editing in between doing some of my uni work. Still writing now actually. I also have the ep that is my source material on at the moment but it is helping figure out who Jackie talks to after she says "Robbie. This anger thing." in the ep because Robbie walks away it can't be him. Fun times.
I've seen that a few times and it puts me off finishing reading the fic. I may have done that myself in the past and not realised it, hope not though. Now I'm going to a bit self conscious when I'm writing the POV parts on my big bang fic.
no subject
Date: Wednesday, November 16th, 2011 01:41 (UTC)no subject
Date: Wednesday, November 16th, 2011 07:25 (UTC)I admit I might have done messed up with the POV sometimes. I'm getting better at not doing that, but once in a while when writing I'll make that mistake, so I'll need to be better at catching them when I go through the editing process.