WIP Challenge Day 7, Saturday

[jagnikjen]

Howdy Folks--

Hope your Saturday is going well.

Tell us how your writing week has gone.

Also share a snippet of your work or request or offer a beta.

Comments

[eggcrack]

I've been a little foggy-brained this week so I haven't written much yet, but I hope to do better next week. I have fic claims to focus on as well as some stuff to rewrite to better shape, so lack of things to write shouldn't be a problem..

[jagnikjen]

I hope you're back to being clear minded (and writing) soon.

[littlebutfierce]

I made myself write something for my poetry_fiction prompt, which has been flummoxing me hugely since I got it. I have the tiniest germ of an idea now -- not nearly enough to spin 1000 words out of (or alternatively I could see the fic heading towards 10k words or something terrifying like that).

I've been in the writing session (still going on! Though obviously you can see my concentration breaking...) & made some great progress editing the first draft of my yuri_challenge fic! \o/ I won't offer a snippet though as it's a secret exchange. ;)

[jagnikjen]

YAY for editing progress. And good luck with your poetry_fiction prompt. :)

[crowdog66]

I got a lot of work done this week on "Ovum", a bit on "Solstice and Equinox", and two complete short stories written ("Gestation" and "Long Years, and Dark"), all Star Trek: Deep Space Nine, all Garak/Bashir of various flavours. The total word count for this week is ~8100 (assuming I don't get anything more written today).

As for a snippet... let's try something from the next as-yet-unpublished chapter of "Solstice and Equinox". 535 words which form a self-contained little chunk of the narrative, describing the moment when Julian Bashir (in this particular ficverse) realized that he was attracted to Elim Garak "that way". I'm not sure how long snippets can be here on this comm, so if it's too long I apologize and will stick to a set word limit next time. :)

************************************************************

It had take Julian quite a while to believe it himself. At a subconscious level, of course, he'd known for a long time that Garak was brilliant and thrilling and seductive — but he'd never been sexually attracted to another man before, and so the signals from his own mind and body hadn't fit into a neat and readily recognizable psychological category. With women he always knew where he stood, and was familiar with the urgent lustful heat that a delicate neck and slender waist and doelike eyes could engender in his flesh: with Garak, whose flirtatious masculinity communicated itself in smiles and words that dripped both honey and poison, the heat was more subtle and all-encompassing, the boundaries between personal and physical attraction far less well-defined.

Wrapped up in this fundamental misunderstanding, Julian had crossed the border into love before he'd recognized that he was on the journey at all. Love, unrecognized, had driven him to save Garak's life: he had risked torture and death gladly, thinking only (with the part of his mind that he could spare for such considerations in the heat of the moment) that Garak could not die, he would do anything to prevent it, without questioning why the prospect was so intolerable to him in the first place. It was only after all the shouting was over, when things between them had returned to more even keel, that he'd glanced up from his soup one afternoon in the Replimat and Garak's teasing smile had slid into his heart like a blade, and all of him had yielded to it with a silent cry of need and realization: Come to me, you gorgeous impossible man, and let me hold you, and I promise I'll never let you go!

His mouth had fallen open and he’d stared at Garak in amazed adoration, almost dropping his spoon as well when the first rush of unmistakably sexual heat surged through him from blushing cheeks to curling toes. It had taken some fancy verbal footwork to convince Garak that nothing was wrong — or at least to get Garak to pretend to accept that nothing was wrong — and afterwards Julian had thought it best to make an excuse and take himself back to the Infirmary with all possible speed, his heart pounding and his head reeling. He'd run into Miles along the way and barely spared ten words for the Chief, leaving his friend staring after him as he resumed his course down the Promenade: he'd hear about his rudeness later from a third source, but at the time all he'd been able to think of was getting somewhere quiet, a place where he could sit down and think and his preoccupation would be accepted as simply part of his job.

And think he certainly did. Even in his enhanced memory the following few days were a bit of a blur, every gram of mental energy he could spare from his duties devoted to the task of crunching internal data, but again and again the results were the same: it all came back to Garak, and that was very bad news indeed on a number of different levels.

[dhae_knight_1]

Nice! I tried to get into DS9, but at the time I got caught by Babylon 5 in stead and kinda never looked back. I love the imagery (and the falling in love without *realizing* you've fallen in love), and maybe it's my short attention-span making an apprearance, but... You write very long sentences. It makes it a little heavy to read, I think?

I tend to do the same, naturally. Since realizing that, I've made a concerted effort to exchange at least two out of three commas for periods. I think it makes for easier reading when I re-read my own stuff, but that might just be a personal preference. :-)

[crowdog66]

Thank you for the kind words, and for the constructive criticism as well. I've written stories where the pace was quicker and snappier, for sure; this particular piece of fic seems to want to string itself out in long sentences, but if you (as a fellow writer) are finding them difficult to handle I'll go back in editing and try to wrangle them into smaller chunks. :)

[in_lighter_ink]

Oh, this makes me want to get back in to DS9. It feels very Bashir-y to me. And this line:

whose flirtatious masculinity communicated itself in smiles and words that dripped both honey and poison

is Garak exactly.

[jagnikjen]

Thanks for posting a snippet!! I'll read it shortly. :)

Fantastic job with all those words!!!

[jagnikjen]

This was really, really lovely. I understand what dhae_knight_1 was saying about the long sentences, but I think they fit the tone/theme (or whatever you want to call it) of this section. I personally didn't see a lot places where it would be easy to replace commas with periods without some tweaking and I'm afraid it might lose something in the translation.

It would be difficult to read a long story with a lot of long, lyrical sentences. But they have a purpose and a place and when used judiciously and with/for a purpose, then they can be a wonderful part of a story and an important tool in a writer's tool box.

Not everyone has the talent to pull them off. I sure don't, but yours are lovely.

[dhae_knight_1]

I'm working on what is turning into a semi-epic Criminal Minds fic, spanning from around mid-season 2 to the end of season 3, where Reid hooks up with Sean Hotchner. At least at first. Unsurprisingly it's turning into a bit of an angst-fest, but it came as a surprise to me that Haley is turning out to be an abusive spouse. I mean, I knew I didn't like Haley, but really?

Here: have an example of what I wrote last night:

"That bad, huh?" Sean asked as soon as he'd pulled away from the curb.

"No. No, actually Jack took it surprisingly well."

"So it was Haley, then."

It wasn't a question, so Aaron didn't answer. He knew his baby-brother wasn't stupid, and that saying nothing was as condemning as denying it, but he still chose to say nothing. He still owed Haley his loyalty; God knows he hadn't been a very good husband, despite all his efforts.

"You know, I liked her when you married her?"

A rhetorical question, this time. Still not something that required Aaron's input, although the observation fell like another rock on Aaron's back.

"What the hell happened to the two of you? Huh? I mean, you still love her, but she seems to be doing nothing but complaining any more."

"We just got divorced, Sean. One might say that's reason enough."

Sean threw him a sharp glance. "'One' might. I don't. And it's not just after the divorce. This past year, at least, she's barely been able to find a single, civil thing to say about you. Even mom noticed."

Aaron didn't look out the side window although the muscles in his neck tightened. He was too well trained by years in court to display such obvious tells of his discomfort. Likewise, his voice was controlled as he answered.

"Maybe there hasn't been a lot of good to say about me."

[crowdog66]

A very nice excerpt! Although I don't know the fandom I was able to get right into the characterization. I particularly enjoyed this line: Still not something that required Aaron's input, although the observation fell like another rock on Aaron's back.

[dhae_knight_1]

Thank you! I've only been watching Criminal Minds since late November, but I've inhaled all 6 completed seasons, so...

You should look into it if you like subtle characterizations and intelligent writing. I was pleasantly surprised that a crime-show coud have such depths. :-)

[jagnikjen]

I agree. Great little snippet. Thanks so much for sharing. :)

[lullabymoon]

I've had great week! Got my exchange fic finished and I've just had a breakthrough on my big bang motive that is going to make it so much easier to write. *is very pleased*

[jagnikjen]

Woo hoo, congrats! What a great feeling. :)

[lilly_c]

Fic hasn't happened this week :( had a really long journey home earlier in the week (made longer by the storms) and editing a psychology essay down to it's allowed word limit these last few days, I've had no motivation for any of my fics.

Hopefully next week will be better even if I only manage a drabble or another 100 words or so on my big bang, it'll do me.

[jagnikjen]

AW...bummer. But it happens. All we can do is to keep trying. :)

[in_lighter_ink]

This has been the first really productive fic-day I've had all week (thank you, writing session!), but it's been quite productive indeed! It's been a brainstorming day, and what started the day as a vague idea has become notes and (almost!) an outline.

[dhae_knight_1]

Never discount all the thinky thoughts that goeth before a fic. When writing papers, I sometimes go days without writing a single word, but suddenly all the thinking is done, and I hammer out 10 pages in a day. :-)

(3rd edit, because apparently my grammar has already gone to bed for the night)

[in_lighter_ink]

Having blurry images finally coalesce into actual ideas is a wonderful feeling, isn't it?

[xpaperplanex]

I love those thinky thoughts. Sometimes I feel like I need to grab a pencil and start writing right away, but if I think on them longer, the idea tends to get better and better. Then when I do start writing, I can get a whole lot done, like you said.

[jagnikjen]

Congrats. I'm so glad you had such a successful day. :)

[lacerta]

I didn't signed up for this month's challenge because woe me, so demotivated, but. I would like to share my gross sentence in all its gross glory, as it was conceived today during the writing session. (Also, writing session was super productive, even though I only filled one theme for my 1sentencefic assignment. Which is a better way of saying I only wrote one sentence.)

Fandom is Supernatural, character that is being refered to is the Yellow Eyed Demon. Not entirely sure about puncutation and how to sew it all together there in the second half, but all in all, very happy with the notion of gross doom:

11. Eyes
The sick, pale shade of a storm brooding over the plains, the air dense with sand that whispers in the straw of a lost harvest, animals seeking flight on brittle legs but broken then, and waiting for death in the roadside ditches, wounds fester and split skin spills out pus and bile and innards, the foul stench of evil that creeps from the hollows down below: yellow.

[jagnikjen]

Thanks so much for sharing. :) Congrats on filling one theme.

[sqweakie]

All in all, pretty happy with the progress this week. It wasn't a ton of words but I had plot breakthroughs which is very important to me. Got the beginning of my chapter from my DP/TT crossover hammered out and followed.

Excerpt:

He woke up in the same haze of confusion, reminiscent of the first time he gained consciousness in Amity Park. Last time he woke up in a rundown apartment after a ghost attack. This time he found a small sitting room, overstuffed chairs surrounding the perimeter and framed photographs creating bright splotches of color on the otherwise plain walls.

Robin shook his head, clearing the last clinging webs of sleep. He remembered helping the woman pick up her groceries and walking her back to the small apartment. He remembered helping her put things away in faded but clean cupboards, fresh vegetables in the fridge, a small glass of juice poured as a reward, then... nothing.

Scrubbing a hand through his messy hair, he surveyed the room again, not seeing his hostess or anyone else.

There was one difference, from that first experience in Amity. For the first time in nearly a month he felt like himself. He felt like Robin.

The crippling fear, the self-recrimination gone. The sadness remained behind but now it was more reminiscent of what he felt thinking of his parents. The suffocating grief was gone.

"Are you alright?” a quiet voice interrupted his thoughts. “ You fell asleep before I could ask if you would like to stay for dinner. I didn’t have the heart to wake you up."

He looked out, the sky all the warm shades of sunset, then back to the woman in the doorway.

"Sorry, Mrs. Nuodov. It’s just a long couple of days. I should get going anyways."

“It’s Patricia, dear. And you shouldn’t feel sorry. I think a couple hours of peaceful rest is only the beginning of what I owe you.”

[jagnikjen]

It's really good. Thanks so much for sharing. :)

[sqweakie]

Thanks!

[dhae_knight_1]

Wow. That's really, really nice, even though I don't know the fandom.

[sqweakie]

Thank you so much! This is the beginning of a scene between Robing (Batman/Teen Titans) and one of my OCs.

[xpaperplanex]

Today was a shockingly good writing day, though I probably should have taken a break for long enough to do a load of laundry. Oops. 4200 words is way better than clean pants, I'm sure. It's a very silly--I'm taking a break from writing creepy, manipulative characters and having fun--but here's an excerpt:

"Tseng, then. Sephiroth was on a mission when we met. My daddy owns an inn a ways outside of Kalm, and he stays there sometimes when he's in the area. I know he's busy, being a big SOLDIER hero, but he always takes the time to stop by and have a chat with me. When he asked me if I'd like to come to this ball, well, of course I said yes. I haven't been to the city since they started building the plate. Sure has come a long way... Everything's so shiny now."

Sephiroth had to cover his face to hide his grin; he had never imagined that Cloud could act, but he was doing a fine job of it. Tseng's eyes had glazed over at the mention of her daddy, and he appeared to have tuned out everything past the big SOLDIER hero. It was perfect; Cloud could convince everyone that Claudia was a walking stereotype of a starry-eyed country yokel, and therefore too boring to talk to, which would make it easier for him to pass as a girl.

"That's great," Tseng said and turned back to his own date.

Cloud turned towards him and raised his eyebrows in question.

"Brilliant," he said. "I'm just going to pretend that I seduced you in the barn and your daddy doesn't know."

"You're gonna git in so much trouble with him," Cloud threatened, "There'll be a shotgun weddin' fer shure!"

Sephiroth laughed and raised his wineglass. "Cheers, Claudia. To shotgun weddings and ravishings in the hayloft."

[jagnikjen]

What a fun snippet. Thanks for sharing.

[bay_alexison]

Slowly able to write the prison break in scene happening in my help_japan fic. 300 words, but don't really want to rush it. I think I'll be able to get more written tomorrow.

[dhae_knight_1]

300 words is better than none. :-)

[jagnikjen]

Take your time and make it the best it can possibly be. :)

Good job on those 300 words.