WIP Challenge: Day 10 Check-in Post!

[gramarye1971]

Poll #12051 Day 10 Check-in

Open to: Registered Users, detailed results viewable to: All, participants: 1

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Today, I was able to --

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Write
1 (100.0%)

Edit
1 (100.0%)

Research
0 (0.0%)

Send to beta
0 (0.0%)

Daydream
0 (0.0%)

Take a break
0 (0.0%)

Do something else that I will describe in the comments
0 (0.0%)

My progress on my goals so far has been...

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Excellent
1 (100.0%)

Very good
0 (0.0%)

Reasonable
0 (0.0%)

Middling
0 (0.0%)

Not worth talking about
0 (0.0%)

It's Saturday snippet day! Post a bit of something you've been working on, ask for a beta, or generally talk about what you've been working on so far this month.

Comments

[crowdog66]

So far this month I've been pleased and honored to receive an in-depth story review from a reviewer whose opinion and perceptiveness I greatly respect -- and he gave me a 10 out of 10, which absolutely blew me out of the water. The review (of my story "It's a Cold and It's a Broken Hallelujah") can be found here.

An excerpt from the review:

“Hallelujah” retains much of the feel of the AI movie, which means the story will be more enjoyable and moving if you have seen the movie. Though a viewing isn’t necessary – the story is strong on its own as a tale of love, redemption, and compassion – it is recommended. Themes from both the story and the movie will play off each other. A fanfiction is truly a work of (amazing) art when it adds depth to the material that spawned it. It is at once slow-moving and quick, dream-like and painfully real, comprehendible and indecipherable. “Hallelujah” reads like an old myth made new.

It simply doesn't get much better than that. *blushes and grins*

As for a snippet, I'll go with something from one of the most romantically emotional pieces I've ever written, "Through the Glass Darkly":

*********************************************************

He smiled again, this time with a trace of sorrow. "I recognized your potential and encouraged it to the best of my ability. What you've accomplished, you won for yourself."

"Until Orison," Joe pointed out.

"Which would have failed completely if you hadn't already been so uniquely advanced." He dropped his left hand to Joe's shoulder, implicitly taking a step back. "What I'm saying is that you don't have to take Orison to the final level. If I imprint you, it will be for the rest of my life, terminating only upon my death. And I could only accept that outcome if I knew you'd had the freedom to refuse the procedure."

"And to leave you."

"That's one option, yes. I promise I wouldn't interfere with your new life — only observe from afar."

"But whatever would you do without me?"

"I would love you, and respect your decision. And if you ever had need of my help you would only have to ask."

"But that would only hurt us both." He dropped his gaze to his own hand, pressed to his owner's heart, and his voice fell to a lilt even more musical than was its wont:

"When I go away from you
The world beats dead
Like a slackened drum.
I call out for you against the jutted stars
And shout into the ridges of the wind.
Streets coming fast,
One after the other,
Wedge you away from me,
And the lamps of the city prick my eyes
So that I can no longer see your face.
Why should I leave you,
To wound myself upon the sharp edges of the night?"

Hobby blinked away the sting of tears, and when he opened his eyes again he found Joe regarding him solemnly. "Tell me," the mecha said softly, "could you really bear the thought of me, in the arms of another?"

Excerpt from "Butterflies"

[lea_hazel]

The key rattled in a padlock so big and heavy it filled her whole palm. Eventually she managed to pry it open and let herself in. Looking in from outside, the house seemed low and shadowed beneath the high walls all around, but from within, the two rooms felt empty as a gaping, hungry maw. A wooden table in the front room was surely big enough to accommodate a whole family, mother and father and a dozen raucous children clamoring for a hot dinner.

Instead of dinner she spread out her books and scrolls and papers. She stared at them but the letters would not form words before her eyes, so she left them as they were and stepped out into the square. All around her the shadows were deepening, dusk descending early as the sun dipped and hid behind the looming buildings. Each wall was lined with close ranks of windows, each window was a home with a family within, opening wide so mothers could call their children in before darkness fell.

[barbayat]

Managed to rewrite half of the first chapter of my Charlie's Angels fanfic, that half is now 1000 words longer and of the 1200 words that already had been there I changed about 70%. Also wrote a bit more on my PWP, so yesterday was an excellent writing day.

While I had hoped to conintue with my Avenger fanfic, I am still incredibly happy with all the writing I accomplished this week alone.

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As for snippits, a piece from the rewritten part of my Charlie's Angels fanfic (unbetad):

'Get a grip on yourself, girl.'

It was not that easy. It was a complicated mess. The thin man was an assassin, he had tried to kill her friends, was involved in the attempt to kill her boss who was like the father she never had. He had even witnessed Knox attempt to kill her. It seemed strange that even though he had not lifted a finger then, he now had died protecting her.

She understood that he was protecting Max because he was protective of the orphanage that had raised him. That he followed them to make sure that the O'Gradys stayed away from Max for good. That did not explain why had rushed to her aid, why he kissed her. Then it occurred to her that this might not be the thing that needed to be explained. He clearly had a thing for her hair and it was not that unusual to assume that he was maybe a bit attracted to her.

The real question that Dylan felt she should ask herself was: Why did she kiss him?

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I am stil not 100% happy with the rewrite but it is a lot better than what I had written in 2003.