WIP check-in: Day 23

[barbayat]

Friday - realy it is already Friday? A black friday? A meh, I am a gothic at heart, all my fridays are black, so are all the other days ...

So did you

... write?
... edit?
... researched?
... procrastinated?
... wore bright in cheery colours in protest?
... did something else?


I guess it being Friday, it's time for you to

- post a snippet if you feel like sharing
- ask for a beta if you need one
and/or
- just chat away about what writing problems have been bothering you!

Discussion Topic

How do you find beta readers and if you do not find any what do you do instead?

Comments

[cirque]

I wrote quite a lot to day! I was actually surprised, I wrote almost 2000 words for my piece for smallfandomfest over on LJ. I'll post a snippet below.

I tend to not find beta readers haha. It never goes well, mostly because I write in really small fandoms and mostly because I'm pretty antisocial in those fandoms, I tend to just throw out fics every now and then and people are all 'who is this person?' and then I leave. No one ever seems to over beta-ing for my fandoms anyway, and I like trucking along without one :)

Snippet time!

(Context: Eli is a character in Stargate Universe and at the end of the series he volunteered to stay awake while the other crewmembers went into stasis pods so that the ship they are aboard can travel quickly through various galaxies. It's pretty much a suicide mission, as the ship can't sustain air filtering for much longer than a few weeks, but someone needs to stay awake to make sure the ship stays on course. Eli is well aware that he might die, and he is usually a lazy college-kid who doesn't really amount to anything, so electing to take this duty is a big step for him. This piece is set after he has been alone for about a week, and he is having hallucinations of various friends.)

“All I did was hack Rush’s stupid video game. Anyone could’ve done it. It just happened to be me, and now I’m here in charge of everything. I can’t even cook, Chloe. My mom wouldn’t even let me have the house to myself over the weekend because she was worried I’d burn it down. And now look at me.” He sighs and looks down at his shirt, his stupid red shirt he bought for $5 because he thought it was clever.

“Yeah. Now look at you.” Chloe smiles at him.

He ignores her. As a hallucination, he’s almost certain she’d say whatever he wanted her to. He turns back to staring out at the stretch of stars in front of them, surrounded by Destiny’s hyperspeed glow.

He thinks of Dr. Jackson, who knows more than Eli could ever imagine, of Colonel Carter who could beat him in a game of trivial pursuit any day, and of McKay, who he had so badly wanted to meet before all this was over. Of Rush, who infuriated him beyond belief, but who he admired more than he’d ever let on. He looks up to them in much the same way that he looks up at the stars.

“Don’t you get it?” Says Chloe, effervescent with the tell-tale flicker of hallucination. “Eli, you’re not looking up at the stars now. You’re looking out at them. You can do this Eli; Colonel Young wouldn’t have left you in charge unless he was absolutely certain. He believes in you Eli.”

He is silent for a while. She’s probably right. “Yeah.”

“Hey,” she pokes him so that he is forced to look at her, “I believe in you. And I’m a genetically-altered space genius, so I ought to know.”

[barbayat]

Have not written anything, pretty bad day mood wise.

I rarely find beta readers and so I mostly try to manage on my own. When I feel I should post a story anyway, I inlcude a message at the top that this story does not yet have a beta and I am open for one or any criticism at all. Sometimes I even get a few concrete tips (mostly spelling and grammar corrections) which is better than nothing.

[lilly_c]

I finished a one-shot and then I wrote over 1000 words on one of my main WIPs last night.

I only use a beta on my really big fics and that's if I can get one because most of my fandoms these days are small so it's not always easy to find someone. I alway have any mistakes are my own and unintentional in my headers/notes.

Snippet from Twice Unjust, my Taggart fic that's set after the last/latest series, with references to 3 earlier eps. This scene is from chapter 3 and it's been confirmed that the murder victim is connected to Robbie. I still need to write the scene prior to where this starts with the revelation/confirmation.

It only took a few minutes for the whispers, accusing looks of the other officers and detectives to force Robbie into retreating to the roof before his anger overtook, and he said or did something stupid. Jackie waited until he was out of earshot before continuing with the briefing and delegating tasks to the rest of the team.

Robbie was sat on the gravel, his back against the safety barrier as he scrolled through the recent contacts list on his phone, selecting an Aberdeen number. He waited a beat for someone to answer.

“Hello?”

“Me again mum. It is him.”

“What happens now Rob?”

Robbie sighed. “The investigation is already started but as it’s early days there’s a lot of work to do. If you ask me, we’d be better off investigating a real crime and not spending our time investigating the evil bastard.”

“He was an evil bastard to us Rob but you can’t talk like that. He’s now a victim too remember.”

“Yeah, yeah you’re right mum. Are you gonna be okay?”

“I will be, I’ve had 42 years without giving him a second thought.”

Robbie feigned a smile at Jackie as the security door closed loudly behind her. “Mum, I’ve got to go. I’ll ring you later.”

“Come up when you can, love you.”

“I will do. Love you too,” he said as he ended the call.

Jackie sat next to him taking in the distant look in his eyes and gently rubbed his arm. “I won’t ask.”

“I’ve been telling people for years that my dad is dead and now that he really is I can’t quite believe it. A part of me is ecstatic that he’s no longer able to destroy people’s lifes but a part of me is sad that it wasn’t me who did him in.”

Jackie frowned at him. “I know he was a brute to you and your mum but thinking like that just takes you down to his level and your better than that, better than he is, sorry, was. Have you told your mum yet?”

“Yeah she knows, I actually told her the news when me and Mita were coming back to the station earlier. I just give her the update, she sounded relieved, like a nightmare that’s finally over. She wants me to go up to Aberdeen for a few days.

Jackie’s phone vibrated in her pocket, she quickly checked the screen. “Just the boss. Are you going to Aberdeen?”

Robbie nodded his head. “Yeah I need to go. I have to be there for her, she’s strong, but when it comes to him she can sometimes be a bit wobbly.”

“That’s understand. What about you?”

“I’m fine, really.” Robbie shot her a false smile as she raised an eyebrow at him. “No I’m not fine but I will be, eventually.”

Jackie’s phone vibrated again. Robbie stood first, helping her to her feet. “Thanks Jackie.” he said as he pulled her into a tight hug. “Think the boss will mind if I leave early?”

“I don’t think he’ll mind, but ask him anyway.”

*

Karen took in Robbie’s deflated demeanour, carefully thinking the next words she had to say to him. “DI Ross, I’m not going to say I’m sorry for your loss because I understand from speaking to DCI Burke that you were estranged from your father for a number of years. However as you also have other personal matters to deal with at the moment I am going to order that you take some time off.”

Robbie stopped staring at his feet and looked at the CS for the first time since he entered the DCIs office. “Actually ma’am that’s why I came to see the boss, wanted to ask for a few days off. My mum wants me to go home to Aberdeen for a few days and I was going to drive up there today.”

Matt smiled at a rare by-the-books moment from the usually wayward detective. “How long are you planning on been in the ‘deen for son?”

“Just a few days, I’d be back by Monday or Tuesday.”

Karen looked at Matt, then Robbie. “Okay, see you back here on Monday morning.”

Robbie let out a breath he wasn’t aware he’d been holding. “Thanks boss, ma’am.”

“And Robbie, remember you can only give her the information that we’ve allowed.”

Opening the door, Robbie cross the room to his desk he grabbed his phone, coat, and keys. “See you Monday,” he said. Jackie looked up from her paperwork, giving him a call me when you can look. “Yeah see you.”

[crowdog66]

It was a decent day (and week) for writing; I managed to wrap up a multi-chapter Knight Rider 2000 AU fic, "Confession is Good for the Soul", which turned out to be one of the saddest unrequited love stories I've ever produced.

This snippet is from that story, and it's rather long, because lately I can't seem to write passages that hang together in a short space. Apologies, but I hope the content is worth it. The Context: Shawn McCormick has lost her memory, and Brad Adair, senior programmer for the robotic car she's teamed up with, has been waiting to hear something about her progress for the past four days.

*************************************************

But there was no contact until a sunny Friday morning, and when it came, it wasn't with the person Brad had really been hoping to hear from. He'd been sitting at a picnic table in the same grove of trees, sipping a cup of chocolate coffee and just enjoying the unseasonably warm morning, when a soft hesitant voice spoke up from behind him: "It's Bradley, isn't it?"

At first he didn't recognize it, so different was the timbre from what he was used to hearing. But 0.23 of a second later it clicked, and he swivelled to turn a friendly smile on Shawn, who was standing ten feet away with a Foundation logo coffee mug cradled between her hands and a tentative smile of her own. "Yeah," he said warmly, "but my friends call me Brad — and you're definitely counted among their number. Hello, Shawn."

The smile widened cautiously. "I hope I'm not disturbing you — KITT told me I'd find you here."

"Not at all." He gestured toward the other side of the picnic table. "Join me?"

"Thanks." She came and sat, perching herself on the edge of the bench like a bird about to fly. Brad took in the details of her kinesic profile with great interest: he was used to the "KITTed" version of Shawn, with a core of steel and often prickly edges, whose gentleness was rare but profound. Without the influence of the RSI chip she reminded him of a wild doe, with softness to every contour and large dark eyes that studied him warily. He'd always been impressed by the force of her personality in spite of her lack of physical stature; now the personality was as just arresting, but it only emphasized the slightness of her build. He leaned away slightly, tacitly giving her more space, and took a sip of his coffee: See? I drink with you. A friendly social contract is in place.

"So," he said with a casual inflection, "Dr. Alpert finally decided you could reintroduce yourself to the rest of the Team, did he?"

She shook her head fractionally. "Actually, it was KITT's idea — and he wouldn't take 'no' for an answer." Her smile widened, suddenly as bright as the winter sky, and she tilted her chin a little to her right in a way that was almost coy. "I get the feeling he's used to getting what he wants."

Brad couldn't help but laugh. "Oh, you have no idea… and when it comes to you, he'd move heaven and earth if he had to. Where is he now? Thirty metres away, listening to every word we say?"

"He's in the lab where you and Rudy work. He said he and Rudy had 'some catching up to do', and practically shooed me out of the room."

"Hrm." He sipped his beverage ruefully. "Probably wanted to discuss the latest issue of Advanced Robotics Theory and Practice magazine." Then, in response to her skeptical expression: "I'm serious. KITT is state of the art, but he gets a real laugh out of the latest 'innovations' in the field."

Shawn was silent for a long moment, staring into the depths of her coffee cup. When she finally spoke her voice was low and wondering: "I still can't believe it's real. Part of me keeps waiting for a man with a microphone to jump out from behind a telephone pole and shout April Fools! But… he's really a talking car."

Brian nodded. "Yeah, he is." Then shook his head. "And no, he isn't. He's one of the top three most evolved artificial intelligences on the planet, installed in a multi-function robotic construct that just happens to look like an automobile. I'm pretty sure that Russell Maddock would have made the Knight Industries Four Thousand look like Optimus Prime if he'd thought he could get away with having a ten metre tall robot stomping through the streets of San Antonio — but cars blend in a whole helluva lot better, so there you go." He smirked over the rim of his cup. "Come to think of it, KITT probably would have enjoyed the general effect too… he loves being able to make a grand entrance."

Her smile was back, this time warm with fondness in a way that made Brad's heart do a slow flip in his chest as like recognized and resonated with like. "He's pretty amazing, isn't he?"

"Believe me," Brad said with feeling, "it only gets better the longer you know him."

"He's been so nice, and so patient with all my questions. I was surprised to see him light into Dr. Alpert like a mountain lion when he was arguing that I was ready to visit the Compound." A little laugh, and a slow sip of her own cup of coffee; when she set it down on the tabletop she curved her hands around it and looked away into the trees, her expression almost dreamy in a way that Brad recognized again, a way that went to his heart like the pang of a silver blade. "But… at the same time, I wasn't surprised at all. It was like I'd been waiting to see that side of him come out — like very moment I spend with him is…" Another shake of her head, this one self-deprecating. "It's hard to explain, but it's a little like coming home — after years of being away, and alone." She glanced back to Brad, one corner of her mouth still quirked upward, her blonde eyebrows drawn together in a little questioning frown. "Does that make any sense?"

Brad took another swallow of coffee against the tightness in his throat. "Yes. Yes, it does."

"We were very close, weren't we?"

This time he swallowed dry, and looked directly into her solemn blue eyes. "You loved each other. And I suspect you still do."

She looked down into her coffee again, laughing softly at herself: "I'm in love with a talking car?"

"Not a car — a person in a non-human body. One of the best and brightest people I've ever known." He loosened one hand from his cup and reached out to deliberately lay that hand on her forearm, drawing her gaze back to his face again. "That's what you came to me to hear, isn't it?" he asked gently. "That you're not crazy?"

Her eyes were haunted — but there was hope there, too. "What are we going to do if I can't remember?"

Brad smiled with cocky confidence. "Oh, you'll remember. Trust me: KITT is pretty much impossible to forget, no matter what the circumstances." He gave her forearm a squeeze, withdrew his hand, and rose to his feet. "Come on, let's get back to the lab — seeing him in action with all three of us at once might fill in some of those gaps in your long-term memory."