WIP Check-In: November 30th

[sperrywink]

Poll #12208 Check In: November 28th

Open to: Registered Users, detailed results viewable to: All, participants: 7

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How has today been?

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Awesome!
2 (28.6%)

Pretty good
1 (14.3%)

okay
3 (42.9%)

meh
1 (14.3%)

Why are you taunting me?
0 (0.0%)

Today I have...

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wrote
6 (100.0%)

edited
1 (16.7%)

posted
2 (33.3%)

researched
2 (33.3%)

will explain in comments
2 (33.3%)

I forget whether this happens on Fridays or Saturdays, so it is happening today: Share some of what you've written this week, ask for advice, ask for a beta, or ask for anything else you need.

Let's get this rolling!

Comments

[wintergrey]

Aaaaaah, I'm writing. Aaaaaah, I finished something. Aaaaah! *runs in a circle*

Hi. I'm back.

[sperrywink]

Congratulations and welcome back!!

Beta wanted

[barbayat]

I barely wrote anything this week - but why not try and find a beta?

Got one for my Avengers fanfic, but I am also working hard on the re-write of my Charlie's Angels fanfic (old version here: http://www.fanfiction.net/s/1485987/1/The-darkness-within) I am still not far in with the rewrites but I think I got a chapter without about 4,000 words ready every week.

There might be a semi-detailed sex scene later on when I am done rewriting but otherwise it is not worse than the movies: a few fights, some killings and a galore of references to things in the movies.

Pairing is Dylan/The Thin Man

Story: After slowly coming to terms with the Thin Man's death, the angels are on a new case where Dylan crosses the path of someone looking exactly like the Thin Man. Soon enough Dylan discovers that it is indeed everyone's favourite assassin ...

The rewritten chapters so far turned out a bit longer, as I added more descriptions and dialogue and other stuff to make them run smoother ... it is a long story and there might be a number of mistakes I overlooked. But if you love correcting grammar etc - please go ahead, I can use the help and I don't mind harsh words.

Or if you know someone who loves to beta please let them know. ;)

[crowdog66]

It's been an exceptionally good week for writing. Yay!

For today's snippet, a bit from Chapter Two of "Solomon's Choice" (Knight Rider 2000, Shawn McCormick/KITT/Brad Adair, with hints of Russell Maddock/Shawn McCormick unrequited feels and a bit of Vivienne/KARR if you squint hard enough).

**********************************

Back in the Real, at the Knight Foundation's San Antonio Compound, Russell Maddock and a team of top-level computer and VR technicians stared at their various screens, following KITT's tense exchange with KARR with bated collective breath. At the centre of the lab stood KITT's robotic body, currently uninhabited and for the moment entirely ignored.

Maddock, his gaze fixed on the largest monitor with its VR feed, barely managed not to pace like a caged leopard. He was currently going through one of the worst days of his life. Having two of his key personnel kidnapped right out from under his nose was bad enough, but one of the missing individuals was Shawn McCormick, and in her case the professional always had a habit of turning into the profoundly personal. The thought of her dark blue eyes and blonde hair and delicate frame drove him a little bit crazy at the best of times, and for the past two and a half days he hadn't been able to get a decent hour's sleep for obsessing over where she might be — and worse, what she might be being subjected to by her abductors. The announcement by the anarchist terror cell Fractal Wave, and by Vivienne in particular, that they were responsible had done nothing to set his mind at ease —

— and then KARR had entered the picture, of all things! KARR, the predecessor to KITT — an AI just as annoying and with about a thousand more screws loose, as KITT had testified and experience thus far had amply proven. KITT might be the reigning King of the Jackasses, but KARR was pure poison: he'd killed one hundred and three humans in his first terrorist action in the VR and Maddock had no doubt that his plans included the slaughter of many more. He had, in fact, declared his intention to rule the world by any means necessary — and just now, his desire to do so with KITT at his side.

Watching the screen, where KITT was gazing up into the VR's sky with a scowl of perplexity, Maddock found himself biting down on the first knuckle of the index finger of his left fist, which he'd raised from the tight fold of his arms at some point. There was one spot of consolation in this miserable situation: he and KITT were, for once, on exactly the same page, and Maddock had to admit that as much as he disliked KITT personally the AI was a highly effective field operative, with loyalty to Shawn that was beyond question. He'd do anything in his power to secure her freedom, although Maddock had spent the last five months deliberately not thinking about the tangle of relationships that had sprung up between the car, his driver, and his senior programmer.

That little menage a trois made the entire notion of KITT allying himself with the people responsible for their abduction ludicrous. In fact, in Maddock's opinion it should have made said people pack up shop and head for some deserted island in the middle of the Pacific Ocean where cars couldn't —

"Sir!" Joan Chantille, Brad's second in command, diverted his attention from the VR display, where KARR had just finished a pompous speech about the folly of emotional attachment and KITT's head was still tipped back. "I'm picking up Shawn and Brad's chip signatures!"

"They're immersed?" He turned toward her station, his heart leaping into his throat. "Where are —?"

From across the room, Thomas Carlyle interrupted: "Power surges on the grid, Sectors Two and Five Fifty-Seven!"

Joan's hands flew across her keyboard, her voice rising a full octave: "Sir, that's where —"

On the VR display, KARR's heavy voice intoned: "You can only save one of them. Choose wisely, my brother."

And almost before Maddock could blink, it was over. His gaze darted back to the VR emulation — KITT was gone from the square, leaving shattered architecture and staggering, screaming avatars in his wake — then back to Joan's screen, where a confusion of code twisted across the monitor's face. All around the room people were hunched forward, typing, scanning the data that was pouring in…

… but only Thomas spoke, a single ferocious word: "No!"

Maddock's heart clenched, threatening to choke him. He spoke loudly around its dark weight: "What the hell just happened? Where are they?"

A new view flashed onto the VR monitor, split screen: on the left, a long-view aerial shot of a devastated cityscape, a trail of destruction clearly marked in smashed buildings that crossed the VR's environment in a straight line. At its terminus a virtual fireball was still rising from the remains of a completely exploded tower. On the right, the scene of an equally powerful explosion, with debris still raining down — only this one lacked the incoming path of KITT's power-bending flight.

Joan's strained voice broke the lab's silence: "I… I only see one of them now…"

[sperrywink]

Nice little suspenseful snippet!