Check in: day 4

[lullabymoon]

How did your writing go today?

Poll #12485

Open to: Registered Users, detailed results viewable to: All, participants: 10

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Today I...

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wrote
7 (70.0%)

edited
4 (40.0%)

researched
1 (10.0%)

posted
2 (20.0%)

had a rest
2 (20.0%)

did something else
0 (0.0%)

Today was...

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great
3 (30.0%)

okay
5 (50.0%)

average
1 (10.0%)

meh
1 (10.0%)

I don't want to talk about it
0 (0.0%)

Since it's Friday, let's have out open chat day. Anything you want to talk/rant/rave about this week? Want to ask for a beta? Share a snippet? Go ahead!

Comments

[linaewen]

I edited some chapters of a WIP that I'm posting in some new places; they've been written for awhile, but I always find a way to say things a bit better when I reread old chapters for editing. It's also a good way for me to remind myself about how much I like the stories I'm writing, which should hopefully help me get back on track to write some NEW chapters.

[crowdog66]

Word sprints in the chat room today = high word counts. Color me happy! :)

Today a longish snippet from "Journey" (Devon Miles/human!KITT, overall NC-17). A robot-turned-human and the man who's promised to protect and to cherish him sit in facing wingback chairs, holding hands in a darkened suite while midnight rain hisses against the tall glass windows... Devon speaking.

*****************************************

He squeezed the slender fingers again, asking the question that needed to be asked, although he quietly dreaded the answer: "Is it only comfort you're seeking?"

He shook his head without hesitation. "No, it's… all of it. The way you smile, the way you frown, the way we can talk about anything and everything — even the way we argue." He smiled fully, turning those bright eyes back to Devon's face. "And the way we hold each other when we make love. The way we can make each other feel. Being pleasured by you and pleasing you in return, it's… magnificent. I definitely don't want to lose that." Devon saw determination stiffen those graceful shoulders once more, trying to be brave, though his heart was doubtless quickening with anxiety. "But if you wanted to send me away, or if you thought it was for the best, I would go wherever you sent me. Surely you know that."

"I have no intention of sending you anywhere," Devon stated firmly, letting a hint of steel enter his expression alongside the fond warmth. "My life would be much darker without your wit and your beauty in it."

"Even now?" His voice was low again, its East Coast accent husky with new urgency. "Even being… this poor fragile thing that I've become?"

He laid his left hand over KITT's, clasped in his right. "It was becoming human that allowed me to fully love you. I'm afraid I can't help but rejoice in this turn of events, from a purely selfish perspective."

KITT was silent for another long moment, gazing down at their joined hands in his lap. At last he shifted his own left hand to curve it around Devon's, completing the circle of contact. "But everything's so different now. I was, for all intents and purposes, immortal: the parameters of my world were firmly established, both within and without. But when you're human, the world around you changes — and you have to change with it. And… you change yourself, which is far worse."

A tear at last tracked slowly down his cheek. Devon disengaged his left hand and reached up to cup the line of that sharp jaw and wipe the traitorous drop away with a tender thumb tip, but offered no words of comfort. What could he possibly say? All of KITT's statements were perfectly true.

After a short span of heartbeats KITT exhaled a shaky little laugh, sniffled, and turned his cheek against the palm of Devon's hand to look out into the night again. "There's no way to stop this, is there?" he asked almost conversationally.

He shook his head. "None whatsoever. We're on a journey, from the moment we're born until the moment we die, and we stop for no one and for nothing."

"It used to be that I could stop, you know — I could shut myself down cold. Time itself would be suspended. But now, even in sleep, I dream, and the loss of control is frankly terrifying."

"I can only imagine. But you can take comfort in knowing you're not alone. Or at least, I hope you can."

KITT closed his eyes again, visibly struggling to contain a surge of raw emotion. He still found such upheavals difficult to manage, and Devon's heart ached with sympathy for him as he spoke in a choked hopeful whisper: "You're not going to send me away? Even though I can't fulfill my designated functions anymore?"

There had been hints of this fear before, fleetingly glimpsed in the fractional hesitation between one word and the next, but this was the first time it had broken cover so overtly. Devon stroked his cheek, tracing the line of tension that bracketed his mouth with supreme gentleness. "Look at me, KITT." When the AI obeyed, he met that pained gaze directly and spoke with utter conviction: "No power on Earth could convince me to banish you from the Foundation, from this estate, or from my bed — unless you, yourself, wished to depart. And if you did, I would see to it that no power on Earth could stop you."

[barbayat]

That is so beautiful, I hope I find sometime to catch up with the beginning soon.

[crowdog66]

Why, thank you! :)

(And yes, they're an awfully sweet couple, although the ethical issues underlying their *cough* association, as outlined in "Absinthe" (the first story in the series), warm and chill me in pretty much equal measure. Can you say "massive power differential", with a hefty side order of ownership and personal identity issues? All rather disturbing stuff.)

[barbayat]

Admittingly, my biggets kink is relationships with one party being significantly more powerful than the other party :D

[crowdog66]

In that case, this pairing will likely hit that button ALL OVER THE PLACE. (Devon tries to minimize it, but the fact remains that KITT is constitutionally constructed to function in partnership with a human being in a subordinate role... and that Devon is, well, head of the organization that created KITT in the first place. That's a power imbalance that's not going away any time soon.)

[barbayat]

Friday was fabulous. Wrote 1000 words by myself and another 3000 during the writing sessions! I love writing sessions. I did jump a bit through my fanfics. Starting with re-writing my Hard Target one, then wrote a bit for the Avenger fanfic, wrote a bit on the Sherlock one before I switched to the Matrix one.

Beta readers - I still can use plenty.

For example for the Matrix Fanfic (although I would not mind a co-writer either) ... or the Hard Target one.

As I already have a post about the Matrix one in my journal here on DW, I think I share a snippet of my rewrite for the Hard Target Fanfic.

For anyone who knows the movie, this is a discussion between the two villains Emil Fouchon (Lance Hendrikson) and Pik Van Cleaf (Arnold Vosloo) taking place after something changed the events of the movie during their hunt of Roper.

Pik smiled. “Not in the least bit, someone also overheard him that he was bringing in more FBI agents, who will be arriving shortly.”

“Damn, so much for a comfortable plane ride out of here.”

The expression on Fouchon's face showed how annoyed he was. As always Pik looked on the bright side of things. “What do we do with out guest then?”

“We keep her alive for now, who knows what she might be good for.”

“Hostages make wonderful shields.”

Nodding in agreement Fouchon walked past the balcony not noticing the figure lying pressed to the floor.

“How far are we with wrapping things up?”

“After I paid a little visit to our friend Randall earlier this morning, I arranged for our belongings to be packed and readied for wherever you want them to be shipped.”

After lightning a cigarette Fouchon inhaled deeply and then exhaled the unhealthy cloud. “I am waiting for a call. Should come in the next hour. After that I am going to tell you more.”

“Got some specific ideas?” Pik asked.

He was curious about specific ideas his friend might have. The general plan was to settle for Easter Europe as the current climate should offer them an even more suitable climate to conduct their business. It just remained to be seen in what specific location they would settle down.

“Oh yes, I am just not sure about the exact route we are going to take.”

Fouchon inhaled again letting the nicotine calm him down a bit. He had liked their New Orleans mansion, it was classy and decadent. While he enjoyed the hunting of men nearly as much as Pik did, he had also enjoyed a certain living standards Emil had crawled and fought in enough shit holes to demand nothing but the best. While some of their clients were annoying him, especially if they were weak minded tourists like their last client, they were not only necessary to accommodate his life style. Some of them proved to be excellent contacts.

“Well, I am going to see if there are any new developments.”

Van Cleaf knew that for now Fouchon would not let him in on his thoughts.

“Do that, Pik.”

[lilly_c]

I got more editing done on a one-shot in between finishing my police application and dealing with other RL bits.

A snippet from the prologue of Twice Unjust (Taggart; Team + Robbie/Jackie; R). I could do with a beta for it as I've added a couple more chapters to it this week and I'm starting to miss mistakes when I self-edit.

~

Robbie anxiously shuffled his feet as Jackie wearily eyed him. “I came to apologise for the other night.”

“It’s taken you long enough,” Jackie remarked more angrily than she had intended to.

Robbie sighed, pausing a moment before he spoke again. “I shouldn’t have attack Kevin especially not in front of you. I’m sorry Jackie.”

“Apology accepted, but Robbie, don’t ever do anything like that in front of me again. Look I know you’ve got a temper on you but I’ve never seen you lose control like that and that scared me a lot more than I thought was possible.”

Sensing the apprehension in her voice, he nodded his head. “It won’t happen again.” He hesitated for a moment before asking, “can I come in? i just want to talk.”

Jackie reluctantly moved from the space in the doorway that she had been occupying, letting him in, she locked the door and made her way to the living room, taking a space beside Robbie on the floor in front of the couch.

“It still affects you,” Jackie stated.

“Yeah it does affect me. I mean I manage to carry on and function but sometimes it all comes flooding back and I start struggling to differentiate between other people’s lifes and my own life. This case has made it hard for me to forget it all and seeing Nash attacking his wife, the woman he’s supposed to love like that in public, tipped me off the edge and I lost it.”

“So how old were you the last time you saw your dad?”

Once he had gathered his other thoughts, Robbie heaved a sigh. “When I was four, I remember it because the babysitter let me stay up past my bedtime to wait for my mum and dad to come home from the bingo. I wanted to ask them if they’d been lucky.” He stopped, squeezing his eyes to stop the threat of tears. Jackie tenderly stroked his arm, silently telling him to continue. “Mum saw the babysitter out, and after she’d gone my dad lashed out because I was still up. He hit her in the face at first, and then he picked up a crowbar and started hitting her in the head.” Robbie choked back a loud sob. “I tried to stop him, I really did. All I could do with being so small was kick him in the shins a couple of times.” Jackie held him protectively as he unloaded hidden traumatic events from his childhood.

“Jesus,” Jackie whispered. “Did he hit you?”

“I can’t remember if there were other times but that night he did, yeah, I got hit in the ribs with the crowbar and he slashed the inside of my arm with a penknife.”

“That scar just above your left elbow?”

Robbie nodded, “is from that night. I had my arm up to stop him from hurting mum anymore because her head was bleeding badly and he cut me.”

Jackie soothingly rubbed his back as his tears and the newly released pain flowed out after been bottled up and capped tightly for so long. “Did you ever see your dad after that night?”

“No I never did. We stayed with my granddad for a while and then we moved up to Aberdeen. Mum called it our fresh start, she settled there and still lives in the house we got in Balnagask that overlooks the sea. I go up and see her when I have the odd weekend off.”

“You can tell me to back off,” Jackie started, “what do you remember? Of the abuse I mean.”

“It was mostly verbal and emotional, shit like ‘you’re fat’ or ‘worthless’ or ‘stupid’ but sometimes it was physical. Having heard that a lot when she was with him and seeing how many times she actually believed him, so I made it my little mission to tell her every day that she has a great figure, she is my favourite girl, and she has a brilliant mind, little things like that. When I go up and see her, I always give her hugs, my way of showing her I never listened to dad.”

Jackie faintly smiled and nodded, finally understanding why he rarely had a harsh word to say a woman, even when it was someone they suspected of committing a crime. It also explained why he was often so affectionate with her and other women.

Having finally unburdened himself, Robbie felt the unfamiliar soreness in his red and swollen eyes as he slowly closed them, falling asleep in Jackie’s protective embrace.

*

Jackie attempted to stretch her stiff limbs in the awkward position she awoke in. The limited amount of space between the couch and coffee table was not exactly friendly to an adult body. “Oh I’m getting too old for this sleeping on the floor malarkey,” she muttered to herself.

Robbie stirred at the sound of her disgruntled murmurings; his eyes were still red but less puffy from the night before. He looked like he had slept on a park bench with a concealed bottle of whisky. “Morning,” he said before scrubbing his hand over his face. “Jackie, I don’t say this often enough to you, but thank you for last night, for listening to me.”

“Anytime Robbie.”

Jackie groaned as her stiffened limbs protested at being straightened as she made several half-hearted attempts to stand. Her stomach rumbled loudly as she finally managed to beat the cramps and stand. Robbie softly laughed. “I’ll make breakfast. What do you fancy eating?”

“I normally have toast and cereal,” she said while working out kinks out of her aching neck. “Do you want me to cover for you with the boss?”

“Nah I’ll be fine, I’ve got a spare shirt in the car and I think I left some toiletries here when I stayed over.”

Jackie softly smiled. “Well unlike you, I need more than a few minutes to make myself presentable on a morning.”

After helping Robbie to his feet, she made her way upstairs to shower and get ready for work while he reacquainted himself with the kitchen he spent a lot of time in when he stayed with her.